About 2 years ago, I got an audio book from the
library by a teeny tiny Japanese organizing consultant lady who had a very
different approach to cleaning out, cutting back, prioritizing, etc. I gave it a go and didn’t do half bad. Flash forward and Marie Kondo is now
everywhere you look. She has been on all
of the major networks, has numerous books, even has her own Netflix series now
(watch it) and, practice what she preaches or not, you just can’t not like her.
As part of my new effort to haul my aging ass out
of bed at 5am to squeeze in some “me time” on the treadmill (if this is what
they mean by self-care, I prefer not caring), I indulge in things that my
family wouldn’t want to watch necessarily, or that many people would make fun
of, and I don’t care. That’s the “me”
part of the “me time”, people. Well, for
about 10 days I binge watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix. The first thing I would like to say is props
to Marie and the producers for covering a varying array of society. She covered households with kids, without
kids, empty nesters, newlyweds, gay couples, straight couples, retired couples,
a new widow with 3 grown kids, young, middle aged, older, everything. And the best part was that I could see a
little teeny tiny Marie Kondo sized piece of myself in all of the
scenarios. It really made me stop and
think of what I have and what I need and what is important and why.
First and foremost upon completion of the visual binge, I KonMari’d the crap out of my clothes. I looked for sparks of joy in sweaters, had heated arguments with several pairs of pants, bought some shorts a farewell margarita, had a deep and meaningful discussion with my inner child until we agreed that I did not need the plaid winter coat and hat from when we were 5, thanked name worthy leather bags and told them that it wasn’t their fault the animals had suffered, purse-say (pun totally intended), but that I needed to move on. And then there were the t-shirts. Good lord, the t-shirts. Dressers vomiting cotton, poly and rayon blends from every corner of every drawer. How many times did I exclaim “Oh! That’s where that was!” after a 3 year MIA oversized shirt with a bank logo on it that I won at a baseball game would show itself.
Really? How
had this happened? When did I become
this person? So many well-meaning gifts
received over the years that just sit for one reason or another. (Sidebar:
I will give and receive gift cards over clothes any day. There is nothing harder than buying/receiving
clothes for/from another person that is not your young child). But I Googled the KonMari method for folding
and went to town. I was literally in
self-imposed solitary confinement in my bedroom for about 5 hours on a
Saturday. I made it through 5 Beth Hart
albums and some extra tunes here and there.
But I did it. A few decisions
were difficult, but overall I truly feel I made the right choices.
All of this got me thinking about how I felt
cleansed in a weird non woo woo practical grown up mom lady kind of way. Basically, as cleansed as a “normal” person
can feel about their clothes. But it
felt good. It felt lighter. And then it hit me. I could apply this to so much more in my
life. I just don’t mean clothes, books,
papers, Komono (miscellaneous stuff), and sentimental items like teeny tiny
Marie Kondo wants you to tediously do in a very specific order (I loved it when
the widow was like, no Marie, doing it in my order, in my way). I mean habits I have and words I use and
people I interact with. The physical
items were really taking up space and wasting a lot of my time and energy
looking at/for them. Well, weren’t there
other things that did that as well?
Weren’t there things, and even people, that maybe unbeknownst to me were
just sucking the life out of me? I
really and truly am a positive person, but there are some situations and people
you simply cannot change. Like the other
child’s mom who somehow criticizes your parenting at every interaction with a
smile on her face so that you don’t realize until you are halfway home and you
scream “That bitch!” in the car, but thankfully your kids head is buried in his
tablet (nothing to see here, folks, move along). Or the coworker who is simply the most
negative person on the planet. I am all
for positivity and killing them with kindness, but after a while, I’m like
“Fuck off, and go be miserable down the hall.”
That may sound harsh to some people, but I’m not talking about having a
bad day (we all have them), or depression (it’s a real thing). I’m talking about
people that just complain about every single thing, every single day, and shoot
down every single idea or tear down others in order to make themselves feel
better. Why am I even trying with these
people anymore?? And then there are the
people that just make you feel bad about yourself. These are the worst. They are the people that say they care, and
act like they care, but in reality they have a way of hurting you, insulting
you and cutting you down more than anyone else.
And it hurts so badly because they are the ones you trust the most and
you believe what they say. You gotta dig
yourself out from under these people.
You are better than them, and so am I.
You are strong. You wouldn’t have
made it through three weeks of my novice, meandering, finding its way blog if
you weren’t (if this is the first post you are reading, go back and read the
other 2, just to prove to yourself how strong you really are…and subscribe so
your strength can continue to grow…ok, I’ll stop now).
Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, binge eating, bullying.
These are all things that you need to stop, because you are better than
them. In the big, big, big picture, what
are they bringing you?
Negative, Batman. In that big, big, big picture, they are
bringing you nothing more than that oversized t-shirt with the bank logo on it.
These things and habits and people are toxic. They are like a chemical eating away at your
flesh or your organs or your soul. They
are non-essential. They are
unnecessary. So, the next time you find
yourself giving too much, trying too hard and finding yourself as the one with
your face down in the gutter when you woke up that morning singing some Katrina
and the Waves, just remember to KonMari the crap out of...well...the crap.
This may not be exactly what Marie Kondo was going
for, but she definitely has made an impact on me and I am grateful.
Go have a rock star day.
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